Alse Young
Satanic San Francisco

I used to think the Satanic Panic was ancient history and conspiracy theories were funny. Then came 2016, Pizzagate, and Trump, and now nothing’s funny anymore.

When I talk about religious zealots, fundamentalists, fascists, outspokenly crazy people, and everyone else I categorize as anti-Satanists, I’ll often reference conspiracy theories.

These are a dime a dozen on the Internet: Beyonce is pregnant with the antichrist! Siri predicts the Apocalypse! Denver International Airport is a Satanic cathedral!

I follow these conspiracy nuts because they’re hilarious and because they sometimes come up with cool ideas no real Satanist would ever conceive.

(Example: The late conspiracy cartoonist Jack Chick insisted that Satanists dedicate trick or treat candy to the devil before giving it out to kids. I liked this suggestion so much that last Halloween we actually did it.)

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